But it's better to have a hole in your head than it is to have your head in a hole.
I almost took down last Sunday's post, cuz I was in such a horrible place when I wrote it. In the end I decided to leave it, as part of the road map.
One of the symptoms of this little conditionette I have is depression. It's supposedly not existential -- just strictly an inside job, cause z brain isn't producing enough zip-7 to massaginate the hyper-cortisoid, or something like that -- but I'm pretty sure the election had some thing to do w/ my horrible state of mind.
It IS depressing 2 realize yo livin in a place where the vass majority have their heads in holes of 1 sort or another. Such people can be dangerous, & the history of germany in the 30's shows how bad we can get.
However, the worst thing about the sympyomatic depression that comes with a hole in the head is that.you feel like you're dying...literally. You're not really, but you feel like U are. It can scare hell out of the people around you, U kno, cause you're sitting there goin "O this is it...Think I'm goin down 2 nite" & etc & c. But at the time you're sure it's happening, I mean it RILLY FILLS that way. It's I swear not just a pitch 4 attention or sympathy.
But then you wake up next morning, not dead, and actually feeling pretty good, & take a moderate i.e., Normal dose of yr meds and start wondering "What was that all about?" & you know it was just that hole in the head messin with yu.
That doesn't sound like much fun, & it's not, but it's still better than having your head in a hole.
I live with my partner in Mesa, AZ, one of the most boring places in the US. In fact, this town has been designated the ninth most boring American city by Movoto.com, a topical real estate blog.
Texas, with four towns in the top 10 & undisputed possession of the #1 spot, the city of Lubbock, must be the dullest & least happening place in the universe, excepting the Austin-Bastrop area.
Movoto's criteria for inclusion in this list measure such things as number of music venues, age demographics, and so forth. But I'll bet I could get similar results using one (1) datum: locally-owned independent businesses vs. national chains. I'm not talking fast food exclusively (& prevalence of fast food joints plays large in determining a place's boredom index), but also the sit-down chains: Shari's, Coco's, and even classier places, such as Gordon Beer's are unoriginal and predictable spots. A city can only be interesting if its businesses are interesting, and originality requires independence.
I've been in four of the towns on the list; Mesa, a retirement ghetto, is different from Sam Berdino or Stockton, CA., both of which are barrio-ghettoes, as is North Las Vegas. All four are the diametrical opposite, of places like San Francisco, or Port Townsend, WA, however, with their idiosyncratic, lively, and unpredictable business scenes.
The bottom line is that this is only a problem if the people in Mesa, Fort Wayne, & Lubbock see it as one, which they mostly don't.