Cornpone

Fred Thompson is the biggest zero to run for the White House since Millard Fillmore. The fact that some Republicans and movement conservatives are looking at him as their knight in shining armor shows just how desperate they are.

He's avoided debating and I don't blame him. He's got nothing to say, or at least has said nothing so far that I've heard.

For example, in an AP story from the Iowa campaign, Thompson said people around the world are looking for any signs the U.S. is relenting in combating Islamic radicals, and boldly added "It is extremely important that we not show weakness." He only speaks in vague generalities, and on this occasion was extremely careful to say not one word about the Iraq War. Presumably he believes we ought to keep doing the same thing that hasn't worked for the last five years.

Click the "Principles" tab at the Fred08 website and all you get is a long, boring essay on Federalism that takes about 10 times longer than it needs to to convey the message that Fred is a small-government conservative, like Reagan was. I've never seen a candidate so utterly devoid of ideas.

The opening page of this website, incidentally, is a masterpiece. It contains what I assume is a mission statement, an amazing string of platitudes that slither off the page and generalities that glitter, and is completely content-free.

Sort of the like the candidate.

I can see already what kind of campaign Deputy Dawg is going to run. It's going to be one of those image jobs: so here's Fred in blue jeans and a big cowboy hat, getting in his red, American-made pickup truck to go out and "mend fences" while his biscuits-and-gravy baritone resonates with meaningless bromides about, security at home and strength abroad, prosperity, keeping the government out of the people's business, mom, apple pie, and patriotism.

No plan. No ideas. Just an armload of tired, recycled chliches about big government being bad and the need to smite our enemies. Mostly though, DD is just about that southern-fried, real macho man image.

And the first time he shows up for a debate, the pros like Giuliani and Romney are gonna stick this guy in the blender and turn it on to "puree."