Saturday, August 09, 2008

Only the Lonely

Sometimes when I look around me it seems the whole world is suffering from the same loneliness, boredom, depression, and ennui that have become my lot in life the past couple of years. About half the people I see out on the streets and in the cafes look unhappy. Or constipated, one or the other.

Lots of people try online dating. I've thought about it, but haven't done it. Suzie, writing at Echidne of the Snakes (sorry, you'll have to scroll down; I couldn't capture the exact link) says, "Anyone who needs reminding that people can be anyone they want to be on the Internet should try online dating. If I ever do it again...I need to put in my profile: 'I enjoy investigating. Do not contact me if you have something to hide.'"

Maybe the solutions to this problem of loneliness and purposelessness have more to do with going back to work, trying to be of service (nothing like getting outside of oneself), and helping others. But then, I know a woman who does all these things, and she's lonely. And she subscribes to an on-line dating service.

"I dislike," Suzie continues, registering a strong protest against the sleazier aspects of the biology of sexual attractiveness, "that most men are looking for younger women. A WaPo article says many women now want younger men. This is the hook of the article, which goes on to acknowledge that men want younger women, which is dog-bites-man.

"The article describes eHarmony: “… members are matched according to a psychological profile and personality characteristics.” I was matched with men who had nothing in common with me other than we were all carbon-based life forms. "

I don't know how old Suzie is, but I'll bet she's younger than me. At this long-shadowed point in my life, my solutions to whatever problems arise will have to come from within. There'll be no more hot times in the old town, in whatever old town I happen to find myself in. And I'm not going to get involved with on-line dating.

E-Harmony will have to continue on without me.

1 comment:

Joe said...

The answer I see is to focus on doing something rewarding in itself. We seem to have no alternative to looking out for ourselves as best as we can. I see finding answers to problems in human companionship as problematic.