Cul de Sac

"Shop Vac" by Jonathan Coulton

We took the freeway out of town;
We found a place to settle down.
We bought a driveway and a swingset and a dog.
You got your very own bathroom;
I got my very own workshop in the basement.

We sit around staring at the wall-to-wall,
Take field trips to our favorite mall,
Waiting for the day when all the kids grow up and leave us here.

If you need me
I'll be downstairs
With the shop vac.
You can call but I probably won't hear you,
Because it's loud with the shop vac on.
But you'll be OK,
Cause you'll be upstairs
With the TV;
You can cry and I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on.

We hung a flag above the door;
Checked out the gourmet grocery store.
I bought a mower I can ride around the yard.
But we haven't got real friends,
And now even the fake ones have stopped calling

Maybe if you forget to hide the keys,
I'll take a ride to Applebee's;
I'll come home drunk on daiquiris and throw up on the neighbor's lawn.

If you need me
I'll be downstairs
With the shop vac.
You can call but I probably won't hear you,
Because it's loud with the shop vac on.
But you'll be OK,
Cause you'll be upstairs
With the TV;
You can cry and I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on.

I like the Starbucks here that's better than the other one,
Because the other one's not as good.
They really need to put a light there cause it's hard to turn,
It's hard to make a left turn.

And when it's time to go to bed,
I'm still awake inside my head;
I'm floating up above the house and looking down.
I guess I gotta go back there;
I guess there never was any other answer.

And as the freeway hums the cars go by;
The headlights roll across the sky
Many miles away, but I can see them speeding through the dark.

If you need me
I'll be downstairs
With the shop vac.
You can call but I probably won't hear you,
Because it's loud with the shop vac on.
But you'll be OK,
Cause you'll be upstairs
With the TV;
You can cry and I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on.

There are several versions of Jonathan Coulton performing his song "Shop Vac" on YouTube, however, the best version of the song was done in the studio and is available as a single on i-Tunes, or AOL music, or wherever you buy your 99-cent MP3's.

The painting,"Suburbia," is by Leonard Koscianski. Click on the image to see a larger version.

Thanks to Harry Shearer for turning me on to this song and to Jonathan Coulton.