Monday, October 06, 2008

Sikspak's Memorables

I, Joe Sikspak, take pen in hand once more to fire off another mouthful to all you geeks and nerds who read this dumb website. But there are some good people here too probably, don't get me wrong. The ones with values, like hating queers, loving Jesus, and wanting to bomb Iran.

I should tell you that I'm writing this very slowly because I know most of you don't read that fast. And you know, when I gassed up at Chevron today I noticed the price of gas is not as bad as last week. Maybe those towelheads finally got wise. But I'll tell you one thing, if they don't give us our oil we'll show them who's boss.

My friend Vern at work is always talking about women. He's a real sex fiend, that Vern. He says the perfect woman would be three feet tall and have a flat head so you could set your beer down on it. Now I usually agree with Vern about just about everything, but for my money there's no woman hotter than Sarah, that girl from Alaska who McCain just took on to be his number two at the White House. Watch out Cindy! Cindy is the name of his wife, for those of you not very well informed people out there.

I don't know why Presidents didn't get that idea sooner. Get a number two who's good for more than one thing.
And Sarah is definitely one hot mama!! Check out the fuselage on that baby, and she knows how to handle an AK too, which is also short for Alaska. I think I'll write her a letter and say I'll help her butcher her moose any time, just make sure the hubby's not around. Heh heh.

The only thing I don't like about her is she's too smart. I wouldn't want a woman I have to compete with, if you know what I mean.

Well, in conclusion, to make a long story short, in a nutshell I have to go feed Captain Crunch now. Dogs are stupid, but loyal and dependable, sort of like our dear President Bush. I will take pen in hand and write to you another day. In the mean time, remember, you live in either a red state or a blue state. If you're in a red state, love it, and if you're in a blue state, especially one like San Francisco or Boston, leave it.

Yours Turly,

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