Modern Times

Charlie Chaplin had modern times figured out. He knew we live in an era that basically sucks, because everything is too complicated and goes too fast, and that we're surrounded by lunatics because lots of people are driven totally nuts by this speed and complexity. But he also knew there are things about these times that are fun.

Yesterday my cell phone stopped working, but not completely. I couldn't hear anybody who called, and callers couldn't hear me. However, I could still hear the phone ringing, and it still made that little chiming sound when I turned it on or off.

By degrees, I discovered my phone still worked, but only when I had the dorky-looking earpiece in. That meant I had to leave it in all the time, and walk around like a stupid earphonehead, disguised as a schizophrenic muttering "Tall Quayle, outta Quayle" to himself.

It was an electronics problem/malfunction. I would take the earpiece out, and the phone still thought it was in, aparently. It's a real binary thinker, that cell phone.

Now the problem is fixed, but I don't know how. Either the device repaired itself, or I fixed it when I dropped it on the pavement as I arrived home last night. There's just no telling.

Modern life can be so frustrating it can make us scream, but it has its advantages as well. For example, I'm at this very moment using the wireless broadband connection at Whack in the Box while I wait for the programs for my mom's memorial service to be printed at Kinko, right across the street.

UPDATE: Whack in the Box is apparently a concerned citizen-type of fast-food corporate entity. While surfing the net using Whack's wireless router, I was blocked from visiting James Wolcott's blog at Vanityfair.com. A "site administrator" put the kaibosh on my access to Wolcott, noting that Vanity Fair's site contains morally questionable features like "swimsuits" and "nudity." And let's face it, if you're sitting there surfing while eating bacon cheeseburgers, you might have a heart attack, and if that happens it could be worse if you also had an erection at the same time.