A Shining Yurt Upon a Hill

On another forum I frequent, a correspondent writes: some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic) .

If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap, it will go toTaiwan. And none of it will help the American conomy.

We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spending it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the U.S.

I think he's right about keeping that money here and stemming what used to be called, in ancient times when I was a little kid (and dinosaurs roamed the earth), "the dollar drain."

I will become a child of the earth. I'll live on bread baked domestically out of grain grown here, and cheese from Tillamook, Oregon, and organic fruits, vegetables, and eggs. I pretty much do that already.

Gotta have my Ethiopian coffee, though. Ethiopia needs the money anyway.

I'll wear second-hand clothing. The first buyer is sending money to faraway Latin American and Asian nations, but the second buyer is usually contributing to a worthy, American cause (Goodwill, St. Vincent de Paul). And I'll buy a used van -- same principle.

I shall erect a little yurt (a bonafide domestic product) in the west. I just need somebody to help me keep my yurt warm.

Gonna get me a shotgun
Just as long as I am tall;
Gonna load up that shotgun
With a ten-inch iron ball.

Gonna put up my yurt
On a mountain far away;
Gonna live there with my true love
Till we both shall pass away.