The Zen of Google Translation

I've been trying to make sense of Zen for years, despite having been told many times that trying to make sense of it is the wrong approach. Unfortunately for me, I simply don't know any other way, which leaves me pondering things like:

Chih-Men was asked, "What is my self?"
He replied, "Who is asking?"
The questioner said, "Please help me more."
Chih-Men said, "The robber is a coward at heart."*

All I really get from that is that it's a very short, albeit complete story, even though the character of the questioner is never fully elucidated. I guess it wasn't really about him (or her).

So I decided, since I'm sort of a novice in the wisdom business, I'd try my hand at writing some of my own Zen-like wisdom kibbles. I accessed the translating device available at Google, wrote up a few phrases, translated them into Japanese, and then from Japanese back into English. The results may not be Zen, but they sound Zen:

ºTo know my son, always keep in mind is that a shortage of honey bees in their pencil boxes.

ºHe can not convey the knowledge is muted, if people do not know him instructions, the word is not included.

ºUnfortunately what follows, she is his grandmother's pot holders on spits.

The original versions of these nuggets of wisdom are as follows:

Know this my son, and keep it always in mind; that he who has bees in his pencil box will never lack for honey.

He who knows cannot tell, and he who tells does not know, for knowledge is mute, and words contain it not.

Misfortune will follow he or she who spits on grandmother's pot holders.

Makes perfect sense to me (even though it's not supposed to). After all, "Are there any elephant tusks in a rat's mouth?"

Quoted material is from Thomas Cleary, translator and editor, "The Pocket Zen Reader," Shambhala, 1999.

I borrowed the Google Translator English-to-Japanese-to-English idea from Sator Arepo at the Reciprocal Crap Exchange blog, who used the same method on the dialog in "Garfield" comic strips from the newspaper.