eulogy

I guess this is good-bye then. And what a long strange trip it's been, to borrow a phrase.

You weren't always good. In fact, you had a lot of trouble from the very beginning, and you hurt a lot of people.

But despite not always being good, sometimes you were great. And boy, didn't we have some times! Nothing will ever be the same now you're gone.

So good-bye, U.S.A. You'd still be alive if you'd been able to learn from others' mistakes, but you were too goddamn arrogant for that. You always thought you were special. It's too bad you weren't a little smarter.

R.I.P.

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People who are 30 years old today will be able to tell their grandkids how they remember living in the USA. Some of them probably even remember the good old days of the cold war, when there was infinite firepower but hardly anybody died. Our beloved enemy in those days, was the USSR, better known as the Soviet Union. God, how we miss him!

"What happened to him, grandpa?"

"He went to Afghanistan. And then he died."

"Why?"

"Because that;s what empires do. Afghanistan is the last place on earth, so it makes sense that it's the last thing a great empire sees as it closes its eyes for the final time."

The United States has gone missing in the mountains of Afghanistan. It'll probably be a few years before the world accepts the fact that it's dead.