Saturday, August 28, 2010

the disease

Om, Shanti.

I don't wish to spend half my life, and sometimes more than half, reading and writing on the political discussion board at BeliefNet. But I keep doing it.

It's some kind of weird addiction, "a sickness" as a fellow-sufferer called it in an e-mail the other day. Maybe we should form the nucleus of a support group. The first step would be "Admitted I was powerless over the politics discussion group, and that my life had become unmanageable."

I have tried and tried to control and enjoy my visits to Beliefnet, but to no avail. Once I start, I lose control and can't seem to stop.

God, are you listening?

I've also come to realize that arguments and evidence will not change anyone's mind, and that some political orientations provide a very thin cover for deep-seated psychological problems, such as derive from an obsessive need to control others' behavior, or a non-specific anxiety, or anger at having been rejected at some point in the past, or an authority fetish. I sometimes wonder if that describes me, and if so, what my problem is?

But on reflection, I've concluded that I'm psychologically healthy, or at least healthier now than ever before. I'm fascinated with the current deformities in American politics (see yesterday's post here), but that doesn't explain the obsession. I don't know what to attribute it to.

I do take the time for yoga every day, including a 10- to 15-minute meditation. I meditate on the chakras, and lately I've been going pretty far down the mine shaft. Maybe tomorrow I should meditate on the BNet politics board, and see if come up with anything.


Joe said...

One good thing is that your writing is the best there. Keep in mind how you are able to guide lurkers, too. Maybe feeling good about the positive aspects will remove the stress of feeling compelled to post, resulting in actually helping you maintain control.

Dave B, a.k.a. catboxer said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Joe.

However, it's doing me harm, and I'm going to put some limits on it. I've already been there today, and right now I'm going to post what I wrote over there in this space and be done for the day.

The time is 6:21 -- a.m.


Joe said...

Dave you're welcome. It sounds like you are thinking about the good idea of keeping more balance.

DPirate said...

I used to share this disease. I haven't been to BeliefNet yet, though I now plan to (PUSHER!), but I assume from your description it is much like WorldAffairsBoard. I finally made a post telling them all to just fuck off and never went back. You can do it, too!