Texas Senator Ted *Teabagger* Cruz, a wholly-owned subsidiary of C3PO Gesellschaft, has been stumping madly in the Iowa carcases, hoping for 51 percent of the vote. It probably wouldn’t do him much good because everybody is now assuming that Donald T. *Captain Underpants* Rump will be the nominee of THAT party, but Teddy is still in there pitching.
However, we can't expect this *doubleplusgood ducktalker* to go on forever like the Energizer Bunny, a mechanical contrivance to which he bears a certain superficial resemblance. Rumor has it Ted is secretly planning to soon retire from politics and become a novelist, and in fact has half completed his first fiction book, *Honey, They Shrunk My Hormones.*
Cruz is also something of an amateur archaeologist, and will be spending some of his leisure time, of which he will have 24 hours a day in the near future, searching for deer femurs in the deserts of Utah and Arizona, then claiming that these bones are the remains of camels, unicorns, or gryffens. Teabaggin Ted has always had a fertile imagination.
Happy Trails to You, Until We Meet Again.
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