Thanks, Rebooblikans

We ultra liberal socialist anti-American pinko faggot commie peace creeps have now gotten everything we ever wished for. Our situation in this country has finally gotten crappy enough that the public was willing to elect a relatively young, relatively inexperienced black man, thanks to the Republican administration and Republican Congress of 2001-2006 -- the Party that Wrecked America!

That crusading newspaper The Onion has the story:

Although polls going into the final weeks of October showed Sen. Obama in the lead, it remained unclear whether the failing economy, dilapidated housing market, crumbling national infrastructure, health care crisis, energy crisis, and five-year-long disastrous war in Iraq had made the nation crappy enough to rise above 300 years of racial prejudice and make lasting change.

"Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, 'Things are finally as terrible as we're willing to tolerate," said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. "To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you."

Added Obama, "It's a great day for our nation."

So thanks, Republicans, for turning the U.S. into an impoverished, second-rate power, many of whose citizens don't know whether they'll have a roof over their heads for all of 2009. You've made all of this possible.