Monday, June 18, 2012


I never was one of those people who sits around at home guzzling liquor all day and watching TV. Instead, I sat around all day guzzling beer and playing video games.

After finishing that last beer, I didn't feel so good. "I think I'll wait a while before the next one," I thought. And that was 18 years ago.

Which brings us circuitously and clumsily to our topic: the high prices of liquor in Seattle today.

The state of Washington used to have a state monopoly on liquor, and the prices at the state stores were high, compared to say, prices in Oregon. But then in the last election, voters were given a choice between keeping things the way they were or allowing liquor sales in grocery stores.

As our rulers are aware, giving voters a genuine choice about anything is exceedingly risky, especially if a TV ad campaign is thrown into the mix. And in this case, voters were barraged with ads paid for by the grocery tri-opoly and liquor distributors telling them that privatization would make them happy, because it would introduce competition into the equation, and everybody knows that competition means lower prices.

Except when it doesn't. As soon as our big three markets began selling liquor, prices mostly went up.

So for all you members of the drinking class who just got fooled again by a TV ad campaign, when are you gonna learn? When big companies tell you that they want to save you money, what they really mean is they want more of your money for themselves.

The rule of thumb is, if you become aware that a TV ad campaign is running spots around the clock, to the point where it begins to crowd out programming, you need to be aware of it, and most importantly, do the exact opposite of whatever they're telling you to do.

Mensos. Babosos. Idiotas. How many times I should have to tell you?

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