what i'd say if I was him

You know, I'm glad to see you, but is shame President Obama doesn't come come visit, as my guest, and then we would talk some of our difficulties out, man to man.

You probably remember, your President George W. Bush visited me here one time. He was very amusing -- sat there right where you are now and lectures me on democracy, I'm not democratic enough for him. So then I ask him how's democracy going in Iraq, and he sits with face full of cordon bleu and says "Just wait. Heh heh." Very funny guy.

Now comes your President Obama with very serious face on, with list of Russians not welcome in United States because Magnitsky. He was very sick man, you know, when he went to jail. He was in jail less than a year, then gallstones killed him. Prison hospital care is not very good, but we are working on making it better.

And anyway who is President Obama to lecture anyone on human rights? Is he Holy Joe, with his Guantanamo Bay, and what is just now coming to light, drone-bombing random people on ground?

Look, if I am interested in playing poogly, childish games, I will make list of Americans banned from Russia, for waterboarding, torture, and so on. Then, when I show list to Obama, I will say "Mine is bigger than yours, bezoomnik."